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Dear Wendy, I'm writing to tell you the story about the two of us-
- as I saw it, but never had the nerve to tell you face to face.
Maybe things would have gone differently if I had told you then.
And maybe things would not have to end this way.
I've lived in Electric Park Square all my life.
And all my life the wheel from the elevator tower was creaking.
We called it the Ferris wheel.
But now, as I write this I can't see the square, -
- and I can't hear the creaking.
And worst of all I do not have you next to me.
OK, Susan...
Here are your round-nosed full metal jackets.
Freddie, these are yours. I got hollow-point expanders. 32s.
I was stubborn as a child.
My dad thought it was a forgone conclusion I'd work in the mine.
I think a week went by with the same ritual.
Down in the morning with him hot-tempered as usual.
Then up again, because I refused to get off the elevator.
And up to Clarabelle, who'd be waiting every day to take me home.
Clarabelle was our maid. She battled Dad's decisions tooth and nail.
She'd say her little boy was far too sensitive for the mine.
Too weak with those skinny arms of his.
He had an imagination. And one day his ideas would save the world.
She had no doubt about that.
Dicky!
...with that rifle he pulls the trigger on a pair of underwear.
- No! - Thought he had about a 10 point...
- Hey there... - Dick.
Richard. Hey, honey, how you doin'?
Two chocolate donuts, please.
We bought an Aunt Maple's chocolate muffin every morning.
"That's the one you like the best, Dicky."
Aunt Maple's special chocolate muffin.
- I'm passionate about 'em. - So did Sheriff Krugsby.
Thank you for my bag, Mr Salomon. Good day, Sheriff.
Good day, Clarabelle. Richard...
All right, Howard. A bag for my early-morning lollipop.
Dad gave in after a week. I escaped the clutches of the mine.
But before you ask why I keep talking about Clarabelle...
Well she's the reason we met, Wendy.
Clarabelle got me a job at Salomon's. That it was better for my fantasy, -
- or helped to inspire me to save the world was difficult to see.
I stocked shelves with a strange fellow named Stevie.
He never said a word, and he didn't work in the mine either.
He claimed he was too tall.
Mr Salomon owned the supermarket. He always looked very worried.
He was afraid of armed robbery and spoke often of the gangs, -
- but I'd never seen them.
I'm hyperventilating.
It's all right. Don't worry about it.
Sorry. Don't worry, I'll ring these up.
Go to your room, put on your white shirt. Mind you don't wrinkle it.
And your tie. You're going to Sebastian's birthday party.
I don't want to.
Sebastian was exceptionally irritating.
Why Clarabelle made me go was a mystery.
He did a particularly annoying thing with his eyebrows.
- Go and get him a nice present. - Why?
- Because you'll make new friends. - I have friends.
Who is your friends?
- Come here, Dicky. - I'm not going.
Come on now...
Come on, put your arms around me.
There was no fighting Clarabelle. I had to get the idiot a present.
Hey, D! Over here!
Huey got his leg braces that day. He lived behind the square.
He had virtually no legs. You got them?
Yeah, I did.
Now Freddie won't get beaten up for having a brother in a wheelchair.
- They cost 7000 bucks. - Freddie! 700.
Freddie always exaggerated tenfold.
By the way, he got beat up more once his brother used the braces.
Anyway, I had to buy a present for that brat Sebastian.
- Catch you later. - See you, Dick.
- Why tell everyone I got beat up? - They already know.
No one knows.
It looks like you got a crutch up your ass.
- What do you want? - To buy something.
What?
A present.
- Who is it for? - An idiot.
- A guy or a girl? - A guy.
Her name was Susan. She smelled just like her mom's lousy store.
We'd gone to the same school.
Susan had never gotten breasts like the other girls at school.
- What about the toy gun? - It's been there for a century.
So what?
I think it's kind of pretty.
- Can I see it? - Yeah... I suppose.
Such a shitty present would serve Sebastian right. It wasn't even new.
It had a burn mark on the side of the stock.
He would hate this present. I couldn't wait to give it to him.
That's a nice present for Sebastian. He always pretends he's shooting.
- He's gonna love it. - You think so?
I began to wonder about the present. There were too many weapons.
Besides, I was a pacifist. How could I forget that?
It would be wrong to give a boy a gun. What would he grow up into?
Keep your tie on!
So I decided to give Sebastian a book: "The Picture of Dorian Gray".
Abridged, since someone had torn out the last 20 pages. No matter.
I'd gotten it cheap.
But Sebastian didn't open it so I didn't see his disappointment.
He didn't like the toy gun. Can I have my money back?
We don't do returns.
Oh... OK.
- Bye. - Bye.
I wanted to throw the toy gun away immediately, but I didn't.
It felt smooth and nice in my pocket.
Some years later my dad died after a temper tantrum in the mine.
I didn't mind too much since I never really knew him.
Richard, I'm really sorry.
You're going to be all right. We'll all keep an eye out on you.
With Mom having died years ago I was alone for real.
I was a real loser, like everyone else who didn't work in the mine.
I stayed in Electric Park with what my father left me.
Mostly loose doorframes after his door-slamming.
And Clarabelle quit. She was really quite old now.
While I was tidying up I came across the toy gun again.
And that was it, Wendy. That was where it all started.
I thought you said you were a pacifist?
Perhaps I did but it's just an old toy gun.
It's not a toy.
It's a 6.65 mm double action revolver.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
Who is it?
Hi, Stevie. Nice to see you.
- Can I come in? - Sure.
- Can I sit? - Yeah.
So... Is everything all right?
Yeah. Uhm...
- I need to show you something. - OK.
This is a 7.63 mm model 1896 broom-handle -
- from the battle of El Alamein.
It belonged to one of Rommel's tank commanders, -
- but it didn't serve him well.
When the allies attacked, he tried to rally petrified Italian deserters.
He wanted to set an example and execute the Italian sergeant.
But it misfired. Didn't shoot.
So they locked him in a destroyed tank and left him in the sun.
My grandfather found the baked body two weeks later, -
- the treacherous gun still in his hands.
Really?
- That's really something, huh? - I got something for you, too.
What is it?
It's for your gun. I made it myself. I found an old casing.
I thought maybe you'd want to try shooting your gun. Just for fun.
OK.
- Come on then. - Now?
All right.
Hey, I'm a pacifist too. I'd never dream of shooting anyone.
Of course not.
- This way. To the old mine. - OK.
I followed Stevie through the closed-down part of the mine.
It was dangerous there.
But we went down to some old, forgotten shaft.
You have to be really quiet.
- Down there? - Straight down.
- Is it all right? - Totally safe.
- Haven't you been here before? - No.
I'm not crazy about the mines.
You don't go out much, do you?
Never do that! Always keep your firearm pointed down.
- Pointed down? - At all times.
What I'm gonna do now, -
- I'll pull this lever and open up the chamber. There it is.
I'm going to take the cartridge and place it right there...
Wow! OK...
A bull's eye. On your very first shot.
I couldn't even do that with Bad Steel.
What did you say?
Bad Steel. That's what I call it.
General Patton named his revolver. I thought it was kind of cool.
God, yours is so tiny! It's like a little lady's gun.
- You're right. - You should give it a girl's name.
Wendy.
I'll call it Wendy.
It's perfect.
Suddenly, I was one of those people with guns.
With a scary, bad conscience I touched the gun that night.
Guns made the world an evil place. But I couldn't get rid of it.
Not even back when I thought it wasn't dangerous.
And now you were mine.
Because it is you I'm referring to.
It was as though you, a gun were trying to tell me something.
Something I did not yet understand.
One thing was sure, Wendy. I had found a new friend.
And it was you.
Dear Wendy it's your sensitive friend again, -
- who, in his ecstasy of meeting you, has dug out his old music.
The Zombies.
Well, no one told me about her
the way she lied
no one told me about her how many people cried
but it's too late to say you're sorry
how would I know why should I care?
Please don't bother trying to find her, she's not there
let me tell you about the way she looks, the way she acts
her voice is soft and cool her eyes are clear and bright
but she's not there
- Stevie! They could set dogs on us. - No, relax.
We should keep a safe distance to avoid stuff like that.
It's not a problem. Let's just shoot.
Stevie and I had found each other in this dark, secret passion.
He was a technical genius. And we kept reading.
Stevie about the metal me about the shooting.
Like why an exit wound says everything about a shot, -
- and about a weapon and its potential. Or its "soul".
Stevie and I actually started talking a little bit.
Good velocity. Causes immediate incapacitation.
And luckily I had you now, Wendy. Every second of the day.
We started carrying. You and Bad Steel lay in our pockets.
It felt important and reassuring.
The two of you made us grow. Even Mr Salomon was impressed.
I can't take it anymore...
It's all...
They say gangs are completely out of hand in town.
And...
Maybe I'm overreacting. I don't know.
What do you think, Dick?
I must say Clarabelle guessed right. You've really come around.
You walk with confidence, you look folks in the eye at the checkout.
I like that. It breeds respect. More maybe than a gun would.
He made me assistant manager and would have given me a raise.
Stevie was a better man, too. He took a loan and bought a van.
He had his own company and could look people in the eye too.
Stevie. Congratulations.
- You finally got it. - Thanks, Dick.
We'd stopped sneaking along when the real men came up from the mine.
We were just as good as them.
Electric Park Square was just as much ours. All the zones we named:
The Slope Corner, The Shack Way Out, East Side, -
- Center Pole, Shopside The Swamp, -
- where the water always rose from the drains. Slong Island.
And Salomon's. It was all just as much ours now. If not more.
I need this slice from you.
In a way it's a shame we're keeping this to ourselves.
What do you mean?
Pacifists with guns is such a great idea, -
- it's practically our duty to share it with others.
- Like who? - Like the people who need it.
OK...
We were losers. Maybe not right now, but we were.
That's right. We were not the only losers in Electric Park.
Exactly. That's exactly what I'm saying.
- You need some help? - No, I'm OK.
- When is it? - Five o'clock, old mine building.
- You're gonna be there, right? - Yeah.
I'd have to ask permission to get out of the store.
Hey! It's over here! Right here!
Stevie let's find something they can sit on.
It wasn't easy to get them out of their shells, but there they were.
By the old mine we had a meeting. The losers from Electric Park.
Susan! Glad you could join us here.
Hi, Freddie!
Look at it as an experiment to help you become what you really are.
What's that?
A whole lot happier, I expect.
You guys in, or...?
I think it's a good idea. I mean, there's pacifichism...
- It's good we don't shoot anybody. - You mean pacifism.
The Dandies was the name I came up with.
It had the cheerfulness I was hoping for.
Hey, guys! Freddie found a hole.
- Found a what? - A trapdoor.
I think it goes down to the mine. Come on!
- Looks good. - Great.
- They're coming! - Are they coming?
It's deep! Damn, it's deep! I think it leads through all the mines.
Come on, hurry!
- Oh, my God, it's huge! - What are we talking about here?
The disused mine building became what we later called The Temple.
Freddie knew lots of other abandoned mine shafts.
One of them emerged in what would become our living room.
- Don't make too much noise. - This is exactly 15 feet.
- Where are you? - I could get you down with the rope.
- Where is he? - I'm over here.
- Careful. - Is the flash on?
Everyone brought something to The Temple.
Before long Huey and Susan brought guns they'd dug out from somewhere.
I hope it still works.
Stevie?
We have a new addition over here.
Can you come help look at it?
Wow! You got yourself a hand cannon there, Huey.
Let me take a look.
I believe this is a 52 caliber.
Which means the bullets are that big. It's what we call a front loader.
Huey had picked an older model. Nobody could say it wasn't dandy, -
- as we soon began to say.
Extremely dandy.
Good sport. What's its name? Is it a he, or a she?
- Oh, it's a he. - Thought so.
I think his name should be Lyndon.
And everything revolved around you and I, Wendy.
And we kept listening to The Zombies.
This one's Lee? Can I hold them?
Yes.
Susan stuck to American history. We didn't like modern, vulgar weapons.
They were not dandy. She even had a nice little revolver for Freddie -
- which was later christened Emily.
- Are you sure, Freddie? - I'm sure.
But he declined. He had a crush on a gun he'd spotted in a gun store.
$800, said Freddie which of course meant 80.
None of us had that kind of money. It was hard on Emily.
But then again, she was no beauty.
We had poetry readings. And the Dandies made a secret sign.
- You guys want to hear it? - Yeah.
Lee is cold as ice Grant is hot as hell.
I think they're both real nice, -
- and I hope it all ends well.
Can you teach me to write like that?
Then we had our inauguration.
Drinking Offley's Invalid Port the most dandy I could get.
It was terrible, but soon became part of the rituals.
Stevie suggested appointing me chief, but I insisted on a vote.
A vote where everyone had a say. Stevie, Huey, Freddie and Susan.
But even more important you, Wendy.
Stevie's Bad Steel, Susan's Lee and Grant, and Huey's Lyndon.
- Hi, Lyndon. - Hello, Wendy.
Since you brought it up what about you?
You.
- And Bad Steel? - You too.
- No doubt about it. You, Dick. - You.
And Lyndon?
I don't get it. I can't really say anything.
Just pick him, Huey. You just ruined the whole thing.
OK, OK... Uhm. You, too.
- Are you sure? - Real sure.
- That makes 80 votes. - Bravo.
OK... the regulations. The most important thing for a Dandy is-
- never to show off his partner. Whatever the provocation.
We carry them as moral supports.
That's the most important thing.
They may be carried but never brandished.
Not one of us were in doubt about the most important thing.
The reason why our partners could never be exposed to full light-
- and thereby woken up. Once awoken, -
- nothing could stop them from killing.
It was so forbidden to say that word that we called it "loving".
And loving could never ever happen. That would be the end of it all.
- Hear. - Hear.
I'm Patrick Besant-Matthews a forensic pathologist-
- with a special interest in firearms injuries.
We're going to discuss how firearms injuries appear in the body.
The entrance site intersected this junction between two skull bones...
Maybe he shot from close range.
It has to be close range.
...the base of the 22 rim fire cartridge...
Do you see that? See how fast it slides straight through?
This one coming out is my favorite.
...someone shoots him with a military rifle...
It really didn't feel like much. Much less than a punch.
They'd cut themselves, then tied leather straps around their balls.
The pain made them stronger. They would hide in the forest, -
- and then go up to the American soldiers and cut their heads off.
These warriors would become practically unstoppable.
That's their testicles and that's the penis.
Susan, cover your eyes. I don't know if you've seen a penis before.
I'm sorry I had to show you that.
He being an old Vietnam vet obviously has the. 45 service pistol.
Everyone loved "guess the gun".
She killed her perpetrator with a. 44 revolver.
He's gonna go with the service revolver.
It's a treacherous gun.
Because he's a military man he'll have the all automatic.
Only this will fit in her glove compartment.
The L1808 polymer appeals to a more dubious kind of character.
Everyone except Freddie who watched from the sidelines, -
- fired and fired, and got better.
Everyone carried and nobody knew. And we all grew.
It was your idea, Wendy, that I should fire you from the hip.
As aiming was your business it worked like a dream.
Slow down, Calamity Jane.
Susan had a revelation too. She made up a new way of shooting-
- called indirect. She aimed at a hard surface -
- and make the bullet ricochet to the target.
It was so much her. Shy but clever.
Finally, when everyone had given up hope, her mother died.
Susan cried, but I told her now she could redecorate the store.
I said she was the Dandy that had grown the most.
- Walk straight. - Without any eyes?
Come in.
We should probably shut the door.
The smell's gone. It smells nice.
- Come back here. - Right here? OK.
- I can't wait to show you. - What are you doing?
- Ehm, what are you...? - They've grown.
My breasts have grown. You always talk at The Temple about-
- how everybody's growing and getting better and better.
And I didn't really understand but I just...
It's like the mind and body have worked together.
When I carry Lee and Grant, I feel so powerful. I feel myself growing.
That was not what I had meant but she was happy.
Huey too was sleeping with a girl. There was no stopping him now.
He hit on anything that moved. Only Freddie still got beaten up.
But we expected it to stop when he could afford to start carrying.
- Maybe we could hang out later? - Sure.
Yeah? We'll go out. I'll see you when you get out of school.
All right.
Did you see that? That's right.
It's the time of the season
when love runs high
in this time give it to me easy
and let me try with pleasured hands
to take you in the sun to promised lands
to show you every one
it's the time of the season for loving
When we were in the mood for it we had a parade.
We wore our Dandy parade uniforms showing off our true selves-
- without fear of what others may think.
And under all those colors was the seriousness of it all.
For me anyway.
And you, Wendy.
I was so happy you were my friend.
My confidante.
You did it!
Firing blind. It's incredible.
- Congratulations, Dick. - Thank you.
And they gave me a Dandy's greatest accolade.
Co-co-co-congratulations D- d-dick!
They congratulated me with the special Brideshead stutter.
Wendy thanks you, too. We did this together.
I felt as though you could have hit that target without me.
One thing's for sure. I couldn't have done it without you.
But I suppose that's what friends are for.
To complement each other.
We were one, Wendy.
- Officer Krugsby. - Hey there, Richard.
- Mind if I come in? - No, of course not. Please.
Our procession last night may have been a little provoking. Sorry...
No, no problem. You're a good kid I've known that for ages.
Guys who like Aunt Mable's chocolate muffins can't be all that bad.
But I brought this guy with me. He would like to talk with you.
He's down the hall. Would you give him a moment of your time?
Sure.
Son... Come here, son.
- What's up, Dick? - Who is this?
I understood you were old pals. This is Clarabelle's grandson.
Sebastian!
- I think we ought to sit down. - Go ahead. Take a seat.
You see, young Sebastian here...
Can you not touch that?
Son! All right...
Get over there. The other chair.
Young Sebastian here has got himself into some nasty trouble.
You understand what I'm saying don't you? Go on!
I blew a guy away. It wasn't necessarily... my fault.
I understand. We understand. Nuff said.
He did, and he's in a probation program now.
He needs somebody his own age who an be a positive influence.
So I figured he needed a kind of probation officer, you know?
So that he stays away from weapons. And he wants that person to be you.
- Yeah. - And I could only agree.
- You're a good kid. - I can't be a probation officer.
I'm not talking about paper work.
You just got to keep an eye on him. We have to look out for each other.
And Sebastian here has been a fucking idiot.
I understand you've been friends and now he's in the program.
- He's been saying you're a moral... - Moral role model.
- Ever since I was real little. - What if I can't control him?
What if something got out of hand?
I'm a good person... I'm good.
- I read the book that you gave me. - Shut the fuck up!
One word from you and it's back to jail with him.
- And he will do exactly as I say? - Of course.
Why else would I need a probation officer?
- You gotta trust the little guy. - I don't understand what he means.
But I think we have an agreement. Why don't we just...
I think we've worked it out. You're a good boy.
Krugsby's plan was that Sebastian checked in with me once a week.
I decided to trust him and save him.
For Clarabelle, for Krugsby for my belief in the little guy?
Maybe just to prove that I could make a Dandy out of him.
A pacifist out of a murderer.
Hello!
Sebastian?
You're here. Come on in.
Well...
- They're waiting in the library. - The library?
- You don't like reading? - I got a book once.
It's right down there.
- They're doing the floret. - Try and get a little more direct.
Floret?
OK, that's good. Maybe we should try the first bit again.
- And... one. That's better. - Ahem.
Excuse me.
Hi, Sebastian. Welcome to The Temple.
You caught me in the middle of a rehearsal. Come and meet the others.
This is Stevie Dandelion. He's working on a piece of ammunition.
This particular gun is named Bad Steel.
It's got a shady past.
It refused to fire at a really dumb moment.
Only because no one ever looked after it properly.
That's very true.
Is there a problem?
- You're wearing a turban. - And?
Nothing.
Come on, let's meet the others.
- Take care, Sebastian. - You too, buddy.
Hey, Freddie! Tell Sebastian about the trick of the Moro warriors.
They tied leather straps around their testicles before going into battle.
The pain used to make them unstoppable by practically any gun.
They fought 1000 percent.
- That's some percentage. - They were tough guys, Sebastian.
Take a seat, please.
- I came to check in. - Yeah...
Here I am.
Your probation officer has nothing special to tell you at this time.
I just gotta ask if you stayed away from firearms.
- Yes, I have. - That's good. Guns are bad news.
- Yeah, they're bad news. - Well, what do you think?
- You guys are completely nuts. - That's one way of looking at it.
But it's what we've chosen to spend our time on.
I actually brought you here to ask you if you'd like to join us.
Might like to join you guys?
- If I would like to join you? - That's what I said.
Let me think about it.
- Like hell I would. - Not even if you could have a gun?
Your job is to make sure that I don't get one.
If you learn to be a Dandy-
- and you're good enough, I'll make sure you get the gun you want.
But it will only be here. And we'll do it our way.
Just show up here every week.
When we all think your attitude is decent, you'll get that gun.
Is shooting guys in the head decent? No?
Doing it isn't. Not doing it is what makes us stronger and better.
Can I go now?
Your visit has been satisfactory. I'll tell Krugsby.
I'll see you here every Tuesday.
Let me take a look at that.
Small but no weakling. She's one cute chick, man.
More dangerous than she looks, though.
Doesn't she ever get tired of your goofing around?
Or with you? I'll bet you're way too nice for her. See you Tuesday.
I stood there for a moment unable to speak.
That self-assured way he held you. And you enjoyed it.
Just lying there in his hand. I could see that. Cute girl.
I decided that you would never lay in his palm again.
He was coarse and far from our sophisticated image of a Dandy.
"If I'd been a Dandy, I'd be dead," he said. Not the guy he shot.
If he hadn't drawn his gun.
He was up all night so it's no wonder he's sleepy.
- But he's real cute. - He's cute?
Cute? What do you mean?
- Susan? I think I'm real cute. - Kind of gorgeous.
He's tough. And sexy.
OK. So...
Gorgeous. I'd always had trouble seeing whether a man was gorgeous.
I could see that he was strong. And brown.
I wondered if you had the same experience as Susan.
That you had shared a flirt. You and Sebastian.
You have a particular taste in guys, I can see that.
You like guys with big schlongs. And I know he has a big schlongs.
You deserve to have your mouth washed out with soap.
- Hey, Sebastian. - Christmas comes early.
Open it, it's for you. Go ahead, don't be shy.
A little Christmas gift for you.
- There you go, man. - Whoa!
There you go. It's what they had in the window.
I'm a nice guy, you know.
It's the nicest thing anybody could ever do.
No more talk about that gun down town. Is that it? It was real cheap.
- The 7.65 mm model 1900 automatic. - Hey, hey, hey!
I was tired of seeing Freddie being beat up. Dandies don't get beat up.
- Ain't that right, Dicky? - Yeah, I guess so.
That's the nicest thing. I can't even believe these other guns.
That's how I do it, girl.
Do you, Freddie Dandelion take this firearm -
- in respect and honor till death do you part?
- I do. - Perform the ritual.
With these guns as witnesses, I hereby wed thee, Freddie Dandelion, -
- to this firearm.
Co-co-co-congratulations F- f-f-freddie!
And...
- Woman. Her name is Woman. - Wo-wo-wo-woman!
Dear Wendy Sebastian was a hero.
During the ceremony for Freddie and Woman I couldn't take it anymore.
I had to fight him. But in a Dandy way.
Sebastian hadn't been in the target shaft. He had never seen us shoot.
He'd never seen me shoot.
That would be the perfect Dandy way to show him-
- who had the upper hand.
All I had to do was to get up there in front of the targets, -
- pick you up from the partners' waiting area with its blue velvet, -
- and show off a few rounds of relaxed hip shooting.
And Sebastian would be blown away.
Sebastian! What are you doing?
Never touch another Dandy's gun. That's rule number one.
- My fault, boss. - Why don't you just go?
We don't want you here! You come here and ruin everything!
- At least he can aim. - I don't care!
- Susan, give me a scarf. - Dick...
I really think this is a bad idea.
It's not nice to Wendy.
Could I hear you, Wendy?
Maybe I did sense some doubt about our connection.
But now it's time.
It's you, Wendy... and me.
- Hi. - Hi again, Dick. How are you?
I'm working on an idea that would be right up Bad Steel's street.
I came back to ask you to perform a repair.
- It's the sight. - Does it need adjusting?
You don't use the sight you fire from the hip.
That's exactly why I want it removed.
I don't get it. That's a very radical alteration.
The sight is a major part of the personality. You said so yourself.
I've wanted it removed for a long time.
But if you don't use the sight why should you care?
- Only because others might use it. - What are you talking about?
This has got nothing to do with Sebastian.
- I didn't mention Sebastian. - No. Are you gonna do it, or not?
Wendy's my gun.
I exchanged you for Emily.
I closed myself up in the library, -
- pretending to study my favorite handbook on exit wounds.
And not one of the Dandies came up to comfort me.
Until one did. And as surprising as it sounds, -
- it was Sebastian.
Come on down, man.
We're all worried about you.
I've never liked you, Sebastian.
What do you have that I don't have?
Maybe you're not very good at understanding women.
Or little lady revolvers for that matter.
In my experience, women may like words, but they quickly forget them.
- They want a bit of action. - It's obvious that you'd say that.
This pacifist stuff is real fancy but it's easy too.
I don't see it that way. The others don't, either.
Shut up. You might as well say "I'm scared, I'll carry a gun."
- I'm not scared. - You sure as hell are.
So am I. So is everybody else.
The kids downstairs are scared too.
Clara... Clarabelle is scared.
Clarabelle?
Clarabelle, as in your grandma?
She suddenly got real old. She can't remember a damn thing.
She doesn't even dare to go outside her door anymore.
The last few years she's only been out on one single day a year.
One day. On Cynthia's birthday.
But she doesn't dare, this year.
She thinks these gangs will kill her steal her coffee, rob her...
Which is obviously a delusion. She lost it, man.
Dear Wendy An idea for a plan appeared to me.
A plan that would prove that the Dandies were not just about words.
Proof. For them. And for you, Wendy.
Hi. Please come in.
We're going to have an exercise. An important exercise.
Sebastian told me there's an old woman living on the square.
She wants to visit her cousin but is too scared.
We're going to prove to that the strength of the Dandies exists...
...and is completely intact.
Through our presence, the old lady who is Sebastian's grandmother...
- Really? - Yeah.
She will have the courage to cross the square.
Our strength will rub off on her.
And after this exercise I think we'll believe in everything a lot more.
And besides it'll be a good deed.
Your granny? The lady with the giant purse?
- Huge purse. - How awful. Not daring to go out.
- It's terrible. - Will our partners be with us?
They will come along as our moral support.
- So what's our strategy? - Well, I have a few ideas.
We're here. Opposite here is Susan's store, -
- the new mine and the old mine.
Clarabelle lives here. It's simple. We'll take her through the Swamp, -
- through East Side, Slope Corner and the Shack to Cynthia's here.
Freddie and Woman will stand here for Clarabelle's safe arrival.
Susan's Lee and Grant can keep a sharp lookout down the street.
Huey and Lyndon can create peace and stability in East Side, -
- Stevie and Bad Steel can cover the long corners from Center Pole.
Come here. Take a look.
Sebastian, you're going to be with me at Clarabelle's.
Huey, you'll be in Zone 6 in front of the Swamp.
Stevie, you can take Zone 8.
They all looked at Electric Park which they knew so well, -
- and saw the square in a new light as their square again.
And it made us Dandies once more. And together.
So that's the plan. Is everyone agreed?
Cynthia had the coffee pot and the cake ready for Clarabelle's visit.
Down on the square, the Dandies were ready to ensure her safety.
So there was no need to worry. This was an absolutely normal day.
- Hi. We're ready downstairs. - It's Dick!
Hi, Clarabelle. Do you remember me? Dicky?
- I don't remember a damn thing! - Should we go?
- We should go. - OK.
The Imperial coffee. It's a beautiful day outside too.
Don't worry, Clarabelle. Nothing is going to happen.
Don't forget the keys, man.
Let's go, Mommy.
- All right... watch your step. - Oh!
It's gonna be all right.
Oh dear...
You're doing good, Clarabelle.
See the window? It's right there.
- My bag. - Nobody is going to touch your bag.
Look, it's Cynthia.
I got my bag...
- Oh! - Hey!
Ma'am! Let me help you get up.
- Leave me alone! - I'm just trying to help.
Stop, stop, stop!
Dear Wendy this was a huge fuck-up.
I know Clarabelle never claimed to be a Dandy, -
- and she clearly wasn't exactly a pacifist.
But this was far from what I had ever imagined.
This is a mistake, Krugsby! A big misunderstanding.
Shit!
What are you running around shooting people for?
- Let's go, let's go! - Come on, Huey.
I'm gonna get the door, don't worry.
All right, I got it. Everybody good?
I talked to Krugsby. It's all arranged.
If he can have Clarabelle we can keep our guns.
We're good.
Freddie had a secret talk to Krugsby.
They decided to stop the whole thing before it got out of hand.
Krugsby would pick up Clarabelle so he could put her in a home.
And nothing would happen to us. I was a good guy, Krugsby said.
Hey there, Richard.
We got ourselves a heck of a mess, haven't we? Don't worry, -
- I'm gonna deal with it.
I just have to ask you to give me over granny there.
I know you, Richard. You're a good kid.
We're not all that different.
You're the kind of boys this country was built on.
Clarabelle, I'm really sorry.
Things have just turned out this way.
Hey, Krugsby!
I want to thank you so much for saying that we can keep our guns.
They mean a lot to us. A lot of people wouldn't appreciate it.
But I can see you have a real special gun yourself.
Don't you?
I do. It's a 08 polymer.
Never trust a man with a smart-ass L 1808 polymer.
This here has been and will be with me right to the end of the line.
- It's just the way I am. - That's a treacherous gun.
And I am fine with it. Hell, I'd be happy to join myself.
Let's go. Let's get out of here.
Unit!
Regroup! Catch them, all right!
- Come on, move! - Get her in here.
- Turn the light off! - Shhh!
We made it back. But it didn't sound like they were in a better mood.
- They're destroying the Temple. - Shhh!
We were still there the next morning.
I got Stevie to check if you were still on the wall.
But you were gone. By now you'd be in some stupid cop's pocket.
I'd failed to protect you, but I don't suppose you were surprised.
Being holed up down here it's ridiculous.
Spending my life in the mine was precisely what I didn't want to do.
Things are pretty fucked up. And this is in nobody's interest.
Listen. I think everyone here should do what they want to do.
But I intend to deliver that coffee.
- What are you gonna do? - What a decent American should do.
I'm gonna escort Clarabelle to her cousin's.
And... and let them become aroused?
Yeah.
Or alternatively, leave our partners with the authorities-
- and forget about the Dandies.
OK, I'm not one of you guys and you guys know that.
You guys are crazy and you're going to get killed.
But I'll back you up, as long as I don't have to take two in the back -
- and sacrifice myself for some cause.
The rest of them gave in to this fateful logic. They were scared.
But they agreed to do like the tribe Freddie always talked about.
The one that prepared for battle by cutting themselves.
Their fear of being hit disappeared. They crossed the barrier themselves.
On three. One, two, three.
Give me some more shells.
- We're all going up together. - Can't go that way.
So, dear Wendy...
This is the time of year that I first picked you up in the toy store.
And now it's time to say goodbye.
I miss you. And what is about to happen-
- would have been more proper with you by my side.
But that's the way it is. No matter how much we'd like it to be, -
- not everything can be dandy.
Eternally yours Dick Dandelion.
Here is a little extra note, Wendy.
I'm going out now, and I fear the bullets from those guns.
It is ironic.
Because if it had been yours I would have met them gratefully.
I always dreamed that if anyone should make an exit wound in me, -
- it should be you.
The one that made me feel strong.
I fear the other bullets. But not yours, Wendy.
And now: It's the time of the season for loving.
It's the time of the season
when love runs high in this time
give it to me easy
and let me try with pleasured hands
to take you in the sun to promised lands
to show you everyone
it's the time of the season for loving
Dick? You said it was up to each of us.
- I want to go first. - It's best if we stay together.
After all, that was the plan.
I'm done with being a loser, Dick.
OK.
Huey and Lyndon go first. Clear Zone 9.
We follow after them. Let's go.
- It's Krugsby. - We won't need any reinforcements.
I can bring these rodents to their senses in three seconds flat.
Absolutely, sir...
- There he goes. - What?
- Marshall Walker is on his way here. - The Marshall Walker?
Yeah.
Easy, boys.
Easy, boys. Easy.
Hi, everybody.
I just want to say that we don't want any trouble.
We're not interested in shooting anybody. So don't make us.
We're gonna deliver some coffee and take our guns home.
Son, what are you doing squaring off with us?
I've had enough of this trigger-happy bullshit, all right?
You drop that pathetic gun right this minute!
Beautiful...
- Marshall, we got a situation. - Stand down.
Take it easy, boys. I'll handle this.
Now, son...
I'm going to give you a piece of advice.
Listen to me! Drop that pathetic gun right this minute!
Wake up, Lyndon.
Step back, step back.
Officer do-do-down, I'm afraid.
Let's move forward. Freddie, take Zone 4, Susan, you follow me,
Stevie too.
Here I come, Krugsby!
Fire!
Clarabelle got hit in the leg!
Hey! I can walk.
Guys!
Guys! Look, I can walk.
Fire!
Can you see anything?
Jesus Christ!
Regroup!
Hey! The Ferris wheel stopped.
There's a sniper.
132 yards, and there's a light wind from the northwest.
Holy shit! Stevie, we gotta get moving.
I'll use a 7.63 mm with extra weight. It should fall about three feet.
All set? Cock it.
OK... on my count of three.
Wake up, Bad Steel.
Did you get him? Stevie got him!
Stay low, everybody. Stay low, stay low.
They're over there in the corner.
- What do you see? - Over there by Shopside.
We gotta go through Slope Corner. Stay low.
- Freddie, come here. - Get down, buddy.
We gotta get under cover behind the Shack.
Everybody ready? On my count...
One, two, three.
Take them out!
- Hey, Stevie, Stevie... - We still got a cup.
Susan, they're in your store. And they smashed the window.
You'd just finished making it look so nice. Go get them, Susan.
- Stay low, baby! - Get 'em, Susan.
Wake up, Lee. Wake up, Grant.
- Got two of them. - Look out!
Stevie! Whoa! Steve, get down!
Wake up, Bad Steel.
What happened?
Stevie's out. We move to position three.
Ah! My leg!
Is she all right?
- My leg! - Everybody all right?
Everybody all right?
Dick, what's going on? Can you see them?
Oh! It's tight down there.
- Jesus Christ! Oh, fuck! - What's wrong? You got hit?
Yeah, it's my turn.
Woman, wake up!
Shit!
He's down.
He's all right. Come on, we have to cross now.
- He's up! - Come on, Freddie!
Come on, baby.
No visual on suspect.
- There's only a coffee pot. - Roger. Stand by.
- Y'all regroup now. - Let's go. One, two! Let's go!
Watch out to the left.
Wendy!
Shit, I'm out of here.
Dear Wendy, I always dreamed-
- that if anyone should make that one final exit wound in me, -
- it should be you. My savior.
Stupid, stupid...
...the way I feel inside my heart for you
would you say that you
would try to love me too
in your mind, would you ever be really close to me?
I can tell the way you smile
if I feel that I could be certain then
I would say the things I want to say tonight
- Pacifichism... - Pacifism.
I'm a forensic pathologist with a special interest in firearms.
That's a nice gun you got for Sebastian.
Wendy...
Done By: Dr.Na'el Hariri